A blog about living and walking and breathing with God.
What is beauty? I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. Someone wrote “you are beautiful in every way” on my board. It made my day. I was later crushed to see someone Xd out the word beautiful. I thought to myself “who thinks I’m ugly” Later that week, a girl I don’t know but cross paths with often said “you always look so cute. Why are you so beautiful? ” I was taken back. For one, I was wearing pajamas and had been awake for 76 hours. There was nothing about my outfit or hair that was cute. So I’ve been thinking what makes me beautiful? And what is beauty anyway?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I am beautiful because I am His and His Creation. Fat, thin, pale, tan, tall, short, blonde, brunette….these are words made by man to attempt to quantify beauty. But everything beautiful and good is made by Him. And He is infinite. So why do we try and quantify and qualify beauty? When beauty is truly embraced, there are no words on earth that can qualify or quantify.
We are looking at the wrong things when we look in the mirror. When we look in the mirror, we tend to look at other people for what should be there, for what is good and beautiful. But instead we should look at His Heart. For we are made in His Image. When we see through His Eyes we not only see the beauty that is there but our beauty is intensified for the act of recognizing our beauty makes us more like Him.
The past two weeks have been non-stop work and stress. All sorts of tests and projects and stuff. on top of my week of emotional trauma from bad ptsd reactions. on top of normal stress of where m going to live next year, work this summer, go on without the people i met this year. its just cray. its like i’m on a freak coaster where the speed is the speed of light. I’m so exhausted but I have so much more to do. GAHHHHHH
Have you ever missed someone so much that it hurt? Have you ever felt that way about someone that you aren’t even sure exists? God has done some pretty freakin awesome things in my life and in heart this year. So much so that I want to shout it from the rooftops— but only have the people who really care hear because in order to understand my happiness you must first understand my pain.
And so when I was home this weekend, I was searching to tell someone. But alas, as much family and friends I saw, I didnt say a word. I have never felt so distant from people. And to make matters worse, I have never felt such a call to search for a new church when I’m home. But I love those people, i can’t just leave. I’m suppose to feel this way while I’m at college, not when i’m home.
And so then it makes me think. I’ve honestly been alone my whole life. And it’s just sad.
I’m not looking for a fight, but I find it necessary to state and stand for what I believe. If you want to talk to me about what I believe, I’d love to hear from you- privately.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe in His beautiful Sacrifice. Because of this, I believe in love. I believe I am a sinner. I believe I’ve been set free. But I believe in equality. I believe The Cross is the great equalizer. I believe all sin is equal, I believe we all sin. I believe that Jesus’ blood has power to cover all of us who desire forgiveness and repentance. I believe that it is commanded to respect all authorities in my life as long as there is no conflict with the Ultimate Authority of God. My Authority says to never support/vote for sin. I believe that God created marriage to be a partnership between one woman and one man forever. I believe that anything different is sin. I believe that marriage in America is already against marriage as dictated by God. Like I said before, I believe in equality. I believe there is so much in the American government that is against equality, so much more than what people say American equality is lacking. I will stand for human rights. I will stand for equality. I stand against hatred and prejudice.The way I see it, under the American government, there is no law against equal right for “marriage”. But there is under my God and so I can not support it; but I will love everyone regardless